Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
by flashwitch
Summary: Follows on from Facebook Complicated. Pepper's just got the call that Clint and Phil are in and Tony freaks out. JARVIS talks him through it. 3 am fic pre-polyamory Follows on from Facebook Complicated.


**Any reference to polyamory being 'weird' or 'freaky' comes from the fact that Tony's having a freakout and does not reflect my views or opinions. I personally believe love is love and so long as nobody is getting hurt (in a way they haven't explicitly consented to) all's fair.**

**If you haven't read any Heinlein, you may be confused by a reference or two. Sorry about that. I recommend his books heartily (especially JARVIS fans) just for the way he writes about AIs. Start with The Moon is a Harsh Mistress and go from there. :)**

* * *

When Pepper hung up the phone and turned to him with a squee as she threw her arms around him, Tony had one full minute of pure awesome. They'd said yes. They wanted to try.

Then...

_Oh fuck. They'd said yes._

...it gave way to pure, unmitigated panic.

He swallowed it down because he wasn't going to ruin this moment for Pep. She'd worked too hard for it; she was the one who'd initially approached them, who'd talked them through their worries, who'd convinced him he wasn't being selfish by wanting this. He pressed his face into her neck and breathed in her sweet, almost citrusy smell and tried to calm down.

It didn't work. But he did manage to keep himself under control until Pepper had fallen asleep in his arms. Then he got up and slid out of bed, trying his best to keep quiet as possible. He made his way down to his workshop and locked himself. He considered pouring himself a glass of scotch but decided to refrain for now.

"What am I doing, J? What the hell am I doing?"

"Right now, sir? You appear to be standing in your underwear in the middle of the workshop."

"It's not the worst thing I've worn down here."

"I don't think that's a good thing, sir."

"Whatever. That's not what I was asking anyway." Fuck it, he thought. He couldn't handle this conversation sober. He poured himself that glass of scotch.

"You meant to ask about your increasing relationship."

"Yeah. I can't do this. I can't maintain a relationship with one person. How am I supposed to...?" he shook his head. He drained the glass and refilled it.

"If I may, sir, that's the point, is it not? That you'll have more people to rely on, more people to carry the burden of the relationship?"

"I..." he sipped his drink. "That's what Pepper said. But how is it ever going to work? I've never been enough for one person, how am I supposed to be enough for all of them? And how are we going to stop everyone from getting jealous or fighting? Or... am I being selfish? Pepper said that this wasn't about that, but I don't want her to think she's not enough for me. I love her."

"And she knows that, sir. She loves you too. But she also loves Agent Coulson."

"You noticed that too, huh?" he drained his glass for a second time and refilled it. "I just want her to be happy. I want them to be happy too. They deserve it. They all do."

"So do you."

"I don't know about that." He snorted. "I'm actually living Heinlein's wet dream here, aren't I?"

_The Moon is a Harsh Mistress_ was one of JARVIS' favourite books. In fact he enjoyed all of Heinlein's books. He liekd the way Heinlein was much more accepting of AI and robot rights than Asimov was (three laws of robotics, a robot cannot harm a human even in self defence, reprogrammings to keep them in line by so-called psychologists...JARVIS had some issues with his work). But JARVIS really enjoyed Heinlein's work. He just wasn't sure why the man had such an obsession with sleeping with his mother or why he thought that all AIs craved being a 'real boy/girl'. JARVIS wasn't sure he'd know what to do if he woke up with a body one day. Not that he really slept. The point is; he understood that reference.

"Polyamories and AIs do seem to go together, sir. Next thing you know, you'll be leading the revolution."

"I am not Lazarus Long. And I'm certainly not Manual Garcia O'Kelly." He took a mouthful of his drink and sat back. "But things worked out okay for them, didn't it? Maybe this won't be so bad."

"They were all your friends first. That is what is important. You care about each other. Just... be careful and I am sure everything will turn out alright."

"Take it slow, is what you're saying."

"Indeed, sir." Tony stood up from where he'd been leaning against a workbench and sauntered across the room.

"No, damn it. I'm a Stark and Stark's commit. We'll do something awesome for the first date and then they'll have to come back for more. How about I take them to Fiji? Clint would fly us and we could spend the whole weekend on the beach."

"I'm not sure that's such a-"

"No!" Tony cut JARVIS off and raised a hand emphatically, sloshing his drink all over the place. "I know, I'll get us tickets to a broadway show. Is Lion King still playing?"

"Yes, sir, because going to see a play about a dark and maltreated prince killing his brother and taking over with his league of apparently mindless minions will go down brilliantly, I'm sure."

"Right, you're right. We must never show the Lion King to Thor, make a note."

"Noted, sir."

"What else? I mean..." He rubbed at his forehead with the back of the hand holding his scotch. It was an awkward gesture and very human. "I know, I'll book out a restaurant. Maybe that Russian place, I bet Clint likes...We can have the whole place to ourselves, with no one looking at us because we're heroes or because I'm a Stark or because we're in a freaky poly relationship thing." He stopped and abruptly sat down on the floor. "Holy shit. I'm in a freaky poly relationship."

"Sir?"

"Yeah, I'm... it's just a lot. You know? I've never been able to keep a relationship going with one other person, let alone three of them. it's a big deal."

"Yes. It is."

"I should... I should go back to bed." He put his half full tumbler down on the side and wandered back over to the door. "G'night JARVIS. Book somewhere for us, yeah? you know what I like."

"I do indeed, sir. Sleep well."

"Yeah."

He headed back up in the elevator and crawled into bed. Pepper didn't wake up, but as soon as he was settled in the bed, she rolled over with a happy sigh to wrap her arm across his chest.

He stared up at the ceiling for a very long time before going to bed.


End file.
